My current mile hasn’t been all that great. Maybe downright hard. Such a struggle. I’m pathetic.
To put things in perspective … I’m not homeless, nor am I starving. The furnace is working. The car has started in the cold. The government is not repressing my political, social or religious beliefs. I have a job. I’m relatively healthy.
So, in all reality, I’m doing better than a lot of people in the world.
But why are things so hard. Why am I depressed? Why such a struggle?
It’s an interesting question. The narcissist office mates would say to ‘just’ get over it. Move on. Overcome.
Certainly wise counsel. Could apply to most if not all circumstances for most if not all people.
But, still, it’s a struggle for me.
What Have I been Doing?
Nothing much. Being depressed. Can’t seem to shake it off. I’ve gain so much weight. I stopped running. My blood pressure is too high (140/99 on average). Did I say I was depressed. My resting pulse was in the 80s this morning.
What Can I Do?
With the advent of the new year, I have decided to take some kind of action. I need to change something. I want to lose some weight. I want to get back to running, walking, exercising. Cut back on the food intake and stop the drinking. Use the Planet Fitness membership.
Any Bright Spots in the Last Year?
There has been one or two bright moments in otherwise a dull and bleek 2016.
The first moment came in early December as I finished a true round of paintings. Maybe my first actual artistic creation. Other than weaving the canvas, growing the pine or manufacturing the paint, I drip painted a set of ‘real’ paintings. I call it the “November Collection 2016”. I hung a few in the house and gave a few away. It was quite the sense of accomplishment as I stretched the canvas I painted over the frames I built.
The second … well, I can’t really remember.
What Am I Going to Do?
I need to shake off this depression. Probably need to change the self talk. Should ignore the narcissist rants from a few raging narcissists in the office. Track an exercise goal, lose weight, paint more.
Take a few small steps. Lose a pound a week for 2017 to get back to my goal weight. Maybe sign up for Weight Watchers as that was successful when I was on the program. Exercise more. Eat less. Read more. Blog more. Pray more.