Right Bird Left

One of my favorite paintings is “Right Bird Left” by Lee Krasner. It hangs in the David Owsley Museum of Art at Ball State University (Muncie, Indiana).

Lee Krasner's Right Bird Left
Lee Krasner’s Right Bird Left as photographed in the David Owsley Museum of Art at Ball State University, Muncie Indiana. Photo taken by Dave O on February 28, 2016.

A religious Jewish woman, Krasner painted right to left, which is the direction of Hebrew script, as a way to connect to her subconscious. Because of this, Right Bird Left appears heavier on the right side.

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This painting does appear ‘heavier’ on the left than then right with the darker brown tone on the right side of the painting. I never picked up on that until I read the this article.

I enjoy the painting because it was painted by the wife of Jackson Pollock. Also, because the painting is huge at 70 x 136 inches (HxW). And, it looks like the Angry Birds or fish moving in an aquarium. It’s the movement that captures my imagination.

It’s been a while since I’ve been to the Ball State Campus. I graduated from BSU in 1986 with a Bachelor of Science in Telecommunication and an Associates in Multi Media Technology, which were mid 1980’s buzz words for Radio and TV Broadcasting and film and video in Library Science. While a student at Ball Statue I walked through the ‘museum’ (it wasn’t call the David Owsley Museum of Art at the time) only once or twice and didn’t think much about it. I’m happy that my love for the art world has changed in the decades following my graduation.

Better Day

Yesterday was a better day. I wasn’t tangled in an emotional cloud that offered to derail my weight loss effort. Instead, it was a rather normal day, other than the lingering raw emotions of the day before.


Calories

Yesterday, I ended the day at 1,160 calories. There was the usual Slim Fast for breakfast and lunch, chunk chicken salad for dinner and a Yoplait french vanilla yogurt for a bed time snack. I was 450 calories below my target of 1,610. By the time I was done eating the yogurt before bed I was full.


Exercise

Yesterday, I was able to get in a two mile walk during lunch. And was able to get in a three mile walk after work. It was such a pleasant day to walk on the fitness path. There were several people running, some running with dogs. One day I will run but probably not with a dog. Right now, however, I’m enjoying just the walking. But I realize that I need to graduate to the next level and run.

Sunset on February 22, 2017. Photo taken from Freedom Park in Greenwood, Indiana.

Sunset on February 22, 2017. Photo taken from Freedom Park in Greenwood, Indiana.

The Friday lunch club meets today since most everyone (except for me) will be out on Friday. So, I won’t be able to get in my two mile walk during lunch today. And, it’s Family night so all the kids are coming over for dinner. So, there won’t be time to walk this evening either.


Homework & Taxes

Last night was kind of strange. I had ‘homework’. Interesting concept to bring work home to finish. I realize that many people do it. And, in my early years as a graphic artist and web developer I would bring work home every night and on weekends. But, now, I hardly bring work home as I can finished everything at the office. Occasionally I will stay late to complete a project but usually everything gets done.

However, I’m crushed on a tight deadline and needed the extra time at home to record a narration for a video presentation due on Monday 2/27. In a production like this, the narration is the first element to be complete as it is the foundation on which the entire production is built on. So it had to be as quickly as possible.

On top of the homework, I needed to gather all my tax documents to give to the accountant  today. I try to keep all my tax papers in a single file for quick gathering at tax time. But, somehow, that never seems to work out as I envision. So, there was a lot of scrambling looking for this and that document. Eventually, I found everything. Thankfully.


Blood Pressure

This morning the blood pressure was 116/76 with a resting heart rate of 64. Strange. Yesterday it was about 10 points higher. I know I was stressed about the confrontations I had on Tuesday. I would have thought that homework and taxes would push the blood pressure even higher due to the related stress. But, apparently not. Strange.


Random Photo

This is a detail of one of my drip/splatter paintings. In the center of the frame is, what appears to be, a whale leaping over a green fence. The whale is wearing a small white cap and has a small beady black eye.

Totally random splatter and drip. So cool that randomly dripping and splattering paint formed this little picture within a larger painting.

Andry whaleLooks like an angry whale wearing a white cap with beady black eye is leaping over a green fence in this detail of one of my drip/splatter paintings.

Looks like an angry whale wearing a white cap with beady black eye is leaping over a green fence in this detail of one of my drip/splatter paintings.


Wishing everyone a great Thursday !!

Over The Weekend and a Weigh-In

184.6 pounds. Yay … weight loss. The month of January was good to me in regards to weight loss. 15.3 pounds in total.


Friday Night

I was worried about this morning’s weigh-in due to the Friday evening dinner where I slipped into a slight binge. For some reason, I ordered a plate of onion rings as an appetizer. Oh my, were they so good! For the meal, I ordered a small salad and a turkey wrap. Both were good. But, I regretted eating all that food.

Afterwards, I felt extremely stuffed. Uncomfortably stuffed, bloated, overweight. I have not felt that way since I started this weight loss effort.

We went to Chedders, a local chain restaurant. I would have believed a large dinner salad would have been on the menu and would have limited my selection to that. But I couldn’t find one. So I choose the small side salad and turkey wrap combo as it seemed the only reasonable thing to order if I wanted to stay under my calorie target.

It seems a mystery why I ordered the plate of onion rings?

In hind sight, I should have suggested that we have dinner at the local Steak N Shake, where I know they have a dinner salad.

My calories for Friday was 2,172. Well above my target of 1,610.


Saturday

There was sunshine mid morning on Saturday 1/28. Most of January has been dull, dark, gray, overcast. Hardly any sunshine. I thought that sunshine would make a hike at the Fort Harrison State Park a joy, so that is what I did. I hiked about 4 miles. It was a great time, in spite of the cold and the dark gray overcast which had hidden the sunshine that excited me to hike in the park in the first place.


A Week of Calories

  • Monday, 1/23 : 1,625
  • Tuesday, 1/24 : 1,040
  • Wednesday, 1/25 : 1,100
  • Thursday, 1/26 : 1,190
  • Friday, 1/27 : 2,172
  • Saturday, 1/28 : 1,508
  • Sunday, 1/29 : 1,225

My average daily calories was 1,408. That is about 200 calories under my target of 1,610. I was under the target on 5 days, with the lowest being Wednesday. The high was on Friday.

On Saturday evening, I felt a binge coming on. To counter the approaching binge, I carefully track a few snacks (popcorn and a protein drink) and just willed myself to stop eating when I hit the 1,508 mark, as I wanted to stay below the 1,610 target. The tracking helped to convince myself that I need to just stop eating that night.


Exercise

I exercised every day. Walked 21 miles over the week. Wow! I walked 4 miles on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Double wow. What a number.

Saturday I ‘hiked’ through the Fort Harrison State Park. On Sunday, I actually made it to Planet Fitness and walked 3 miles on the treadmill. I ended the workout with a blister on my right ankle. Very odd.

In addition to the walking, I had two workouts on the Max Trainer, Tuesday and Wednesday.

I would like to introduce some running into the exercise program. Hopefully I can do that this week.

 


Painting

In an effort to stay busy over the weekend so I would not overeat from boredom or inactivity, I built a 7.5′ x 4′ stretcher frame, stretched a painted canvas and hung it.

I had a painting that I completed in August 2016. I had rolled it up and almost forgot about it. So when I was looking for something to do on Saturday afternoon, I thought I would build a frame and stretch the painting.

Thankfully, there was enough canvas to hang on one of the walls in the dinning room, above the buffet. It was an empty wall and needed something on it.

After a quick trip to Lowes to buy the supplies, I had the frame built. It took a while to stretch the canvas as I am still new to this process and still learning from trial and error. I eventually got the painting stretch and was happy with it. I then hung it on the wall in the dinning room.

I was happy with the result.

There is some canvas left over from the original painting, enough for several smaller frames. I will work on those this week.

Untitled Painting

Untitled Painting … built the frame, stretched the canvas and hung it in dining room on Saturday, January 28, 2017.


Blood Pressure

This morning my blood pressure was 114/76 with a resting heart rate of 65. Could that be normal?


Happy week to everyone.

My Current Mile

My current mile hasn’t been all that great. Maybe downright hard. Such a struggle. I’m pathetic.

To put things in perspective … I’m not homeless, nor am I starving. The furnace is working. The car has started in the cold. The government is not repressing my political, social or religious beliefs. I have a job. I’m relatively healthy.

So, in all reality, I’m doing better than a lot of people in the world.

But why are things so hard. Why am I depressed? Why such a struggle?

It’s an interesting question. The narcissist office mates would say to ‘just’ get over it. Move on. Overcome.

Certainly wise counsel. Could apply to most if not all circumstances for most if not all people.

But, still, it’s a struggle for me.

What Have I been Doing?

Nothing much. Being depressed. Can’t seem to shake it off. I’ve gain so much weight. I stopped running. My blood pressure is too high (140/99 on average). Did I say I was depressed. My resting pulse was in the 80s this morning.

What Can I Do?

With the advent of the new year, I have decided to take some kind of action. I need to change something. I want to lose some weight. I want to get back to running, walking, exercising. Cut back on the food intake and stop the drinking. Use the Planet Fitness membership.

Any Bright Spots in the Last Year?

There has been one or two bright moments in otherwise a dull and bleek 2016.

The first moment came in early December as I finished a true round of paintings. Maybe my first actual artistic creation. Other than weaving the canvas, growing the pine or manufacturing the paint, I drip painted a set of ‘real’ paintings. I call it the “November Collection 2016”. I hung a few in the house and gave a few away. It was quite the sense of accomplishment as I stretched the canvas I painted over the frames I built.

The second … well, I can’t really remember.

What Am I Going to Do?

I need to shake off this depression. Probably need to change the self talk. Should ignore the narcissist rants from a few raging narcissists in the office. Track an exercise goal, lose weight, paint more.

Take a few small steps. Lose a pound a week for 2017 to get back to my goal weight. Maybe sign up for Weight Watchers as that was successful when I was on the program. Exercise more. Eat less. Read more. Blog more. Pray more.

image_novembercollection2016

The November Collection 2016

A New Painting

I missed out on the 2014 Mini Marathon and feeling the deep emotional pain from that. I feel so much like a loser for not overcoming my physical and psychological pain to at least participate. But, hopefully, the rest of this year will be better for me, at least in the running department. Instead of running, I spent this weekend working around the house, in the yard doing the normal yard work (mulching, fertilizing, trimming … the normal yard work) … and trying to keep my mind off of failing to participate in the Mini Marathon and the other stuff that is going on in my life right now.

Kara … the lady who ran in the Mini under my bib number … did exceptionally well. God bless her and her ambition and desire … something that I really need to get a hold of in my   life right now. She’s a symbol for me in more ways than she would know. I wish her the absolute best in everything she desires.

Even though I didn’t run this weekend … I did think about it and hopefully I will put in a few miles this week. This afternoon, I saw an older man running through my neighborhood. I watched him as he ran by and I wished him the best. I was somewhat jealous of his effort. Actually, I was totally jealous of his effort.

I did find a connection when that old man as he was running by. As I was watching him somehow I stumbled over the overloaded wheel barrow I was pushing. It was full of mulch and in my stumble I banged the shin of my left leg just above that nasty stress fracture. Instantly I thought of how I have waited for over six weeks for the stress fracture to heal and now I’m sidelined again with a bruised shin from an overloaded wheel barrow of mulch. There is a now a huge lump on my shin. Geez.

Even though I failed to run this weekend … I was able to do something of significance (at least significant to me)  … I completed a painting that I’ve been working on for a few weeks.

I know that abstract expressionism is a bit outdated … but it is a genre of painting that I relate to. The chaos of splattered and thrown paint resonates with my psyche.

Anyways, here are some bad photos of my latest painting. I call it “Losing Shannon”.

I wish the iPhone would take better photos as these photos are somewhat out of focus.

Anyways … Onward …

photo-6 photo-5