I Just Don’t Care Anymore

The Brother of Gold bought a new property in a southern state along a western coast.

Probably for the first time in a very, very, very long time, I didn’t fret over ‘his success’ and my lack of it. The news was presented to me and I acknowledged it and immediately moved along in my life. I believe the primary aspect of this small victory is due to :

  • I feel sorry for him. Not that I feel superior to him but I just feel sorry for him that he now needs to pay property taxes in another state, HOA fees, other fees, fees on top of those fees, expenses getting to and from his golden house in a midwestern state to the new golden house in the southern state along a western coast, other expanses, still more other expenses, the new furniture and new clothes to live that lifestyles and the new toys to impress others.
  • Keep distance from him. I opted out of a Mother’s day ‘celebration’ held at his House of Gold because his place overwhelms me with opulence, saying ‘look what I have and what you don’t have’. Of course, he would never say that out loud. Although, he once said that I’m jealous of what he has and what I don’t have, and ever since has made me believe that is his primary motive is to make certain I know he is better than me because of what he had and what I don’t have. Of course he will do what is necessary to prove otherwise at the moment it is needed to be proven to others.

The Cabin fiasco solidified my belief that I am on a different path than he. At one point in my life I tried to compete with him on the same path he was running on. But the Judge deemed early on there was no competition, no race, and the younger one was declared the victor. But, I kept on competing anyways when there wasn’t even a race, trying to climb the wrong ladder, trying to convince those in power differently.

So, I gave up. And this recent news of his further outward success and how everyone ‘ooh and ahhs’ over them as those they were cast from golden clay and can do no wrong amazes me. And since I gave up and won’t compete any longer I just don’t care anymore. I feel sorry for him as he takes on extra financial load when it could all come crumbling down (hopefully it won’t). I don’t want that.

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