Why Can’t I Go?

Go West Young Man. A bill board advertising an Eiteljorg film series. Photo taken by Dave O with the Nikon W300, July 2018.

Go West Young Man. A bill board advertising an Eiteljorg film series. Photo taken by Dave O with the Nikon W300, July 2018. Should I go?

Maybe one could explain this complexity for me?

In my youth I had a driving wonder lust. I couldn’t wait to get out and explore. It started by exploring creeks and cemeteries and the local neighborhoods I could walk or bike to. When I could drive places were no longer far away. Indiana State Parks became a favorite destination. Sometimes those trips became overnighters but they were usually long day trips.

When I first married and the kids started appearing, the wonder lust didn’t fade. Family camping, “auto hiking” (a self coined term to describe ‘driving’ to strange and new places as my wife at that point in my life didn’t care to ‘hike’ in the traditional way) and backpacking were activities I faithfully and consistently engaged in.

As the first wife left and the second wife came home with two more kids, family camping took a prominent place in our family travels. Colorado, South Dakota, Kentucky, Florida were some of the states we went to. Pricey beach vacation were also thrown into the travel itinerary.

But, as the kids grew up and left to live their own lives and as the second wife left to live her own I find myself alone and unrestricted.

Yet, I can’t seem excite the wonder lust I had in my youth.

It’s become a topic of discussion (or maybe concern) with friends and family. They don’t understand why I talk about flying or driving to far away destinations for a long weekend or a week long vacation, see  my excitement at the thought of wondering about  and listen to my ideas and list of things-to-do and then witness the scheduled dates come and go and my lack of follow through.

They say “you have nothing holding you back.”

And I don’t.

Yet I don’t go.

My scheduled work vacation this year is July 30 – August 3. It’s a typical five day work week vacation but if you add the weekends before and aft then the vacation expands into nine days.

That is enough time to drive to Colorado and take a few photos, is it not? Enough time to do almost everything I planned to do, that I listed on my detailed itinerary I created months ago where I listed mileage and routes and campgrounds and National Parks and towns and mountains I wanted to visit and climb.

Yet, I’m on the verge of pulling the plug and canceling those vacation days and continue life by working through that week as normal.

Ugh.

I hope I still go.

As a post script, in June 2015, I did take a week’s vacation to Colorado. It was a great time of hiking and sight seeing and driving to strange and new places.

If you look close you can my little red 2000 Honda Civic EX. And next to the Civic is the 3 Corners at Colorado, Nebraska and Kansas. Photo taken by Dave O, June 2015.

If you look close you can my little red 2000 Honda Civic EX. And next to the Civic is the 3 Corners at Colorado, Nebraska and Kansas. Photo taken by Dave O, June 2015.

 

 

 

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